I wonder why did I go to school today. I brought the wrong lecture notes, and I didn't bring my jap notes. So I really wonder why did I go for lessons today.

For the first time in 20 years of my life, I lost my entire wallet today. To be exact, I think someone stole it when I left my bag on the metal rack in the toilet. It's one of those super rare days that I don't carry my wallet and handphone into the cubicle because I was rushing for lessons, and just on the day when I don't do so, some thief conveniently stretched her hand in and helped herself to stuff that don't belong to her.

Like when I realised I lost my wallet after lesson, my first reaction was that I had been careless and prob misplaced it along my way to class. But after that I recalled clearly that I put my wallet in my bag when Xueling and I left the benches. The only time when someone could have taken it would be when I was in the cubicle. That's fast can. And cruel. To think that it would most probably be an NTU student, and a FEMALE NTU student.

I think I have to stop thinking that everyone on earth is nice and has integrity. A pack of lies.

I/C, driving license, matric card, ezlink, ATM card, credit card..you name it, I have it in there. Yes, not forgetting the cash, my fav guitar pick and cards that my friends gave me. Those were my greatly treasured possessions you know..like I can never ever get those similar cards back again. And they really have sentimental value, you just won't understand how upset I am. The feeling is like someone stripped me of my beloved memories and I'm suffering from amnesia now.

I think out of the list of things that I've lost, it pains me to lose the cards that my friends have given me, including Rachel and Kelly. And now I have to start chalking up money to make a new I/C and other rubbishy cards.

I understand when people tell me that memories are stored in the head and not with physical things, and it's just the loss of a wallet, nothing big. I do agree, and I know what they mean. But it seems a little too unfeeling to me, when I'm expected to just move on and treat it as if it's nothing, when obviously the loss mattered to me. Completely detaching my emotions from the issue sounded like a matter of fact to some, which brought to me think - when will humans ever have a legitimate reason to grieve over a loss of something, if at all times we're expected not to let feelings rule our head?

I didn't cry cos my Guess wallet was expensive or that I loved it alot.

And yes my dear God, you were saying about faith? I do have it. Just that I need to get over it. Please reduce the pain in my heart.